I turned down acceptance to a fully funded Ph.D. program. The program is a good fit, but the location isn’t. After the events of the past two years, I don’t feel like my mind is clear enough, and I am too uncertain about all of this now, to make a decision to uproot and take a chance in the desert. Too many shoulds stream among my thoughts, but when I think of going ("You can be a doctor if you want to.") a NO wells from some deep to wedge in my throat. I talked to the professor who made the offer and she said if I applied again my application would do well. We’ll see if I apply again.