From: Helen [stranger@drizzle.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 1999 12:20 PM
To: shingar@pfr.che.orst.edu
Subject: Tom!

Buddy, where are you?

Waiting for me to write to you? Feeling neglected? You would be right to feel so. Perhaps you are busy planning the nuptials? Which reminds me that I totally loved your wedding announcement. Fits the two of you well and it's original. How did you do it? Is it a service or did you two do it on your own?

Oh right now I'm just cranking out a little mail while I scarf down lunch. I want to read some stats before class, but that never works on days when exercise. I got to the gym on time, but that meant I had time for a really long workout. Got out of there late, as usual. Not enough time!! It's so frustrating.

Yesterday I was driving out in the hills. Coming down the hill, in fact, where I could see the Olympics. I started thinking about climbing and devising various strategies to make that a reality. I started thinking of you and how we haven't seen each other in ages despite being so close geographically. You're getting married in April; I'm supposed to give you away, so to speak, and here we are barely transacting friendship. Fantasy ensues: Let's pick a weekend and meet on Rainier. We can dig shelter in the 10 or 12 feet of snow there just off the side of Paradise. We'll chat. I need some fodder for a crowd-pleasing speech at your reception anyway.

But is this possible? (The question comes after the fantasy has run its course.) This class I'm taking is systematically sucking away my soul. My weekends are devoted to it. I keep telling myself I'll get caught up and then I can go away skiing or to the mountain, or whatever. Somehow, I don't think that can happen: the coursework is just too hard. How many weekends between now and mid-March anyway? Directly after the quarter ends I'm back to Korea to pack. Dave's trying to set a deadline of March 31 for moving. (Don't bother to ask where he is (we are) moving to, because it's a big unknown). Gads. So I'll be there between mid-March and April 12 it looks like.

It's too much for the body to take. Moving physically, but mostly spiritually. This class eating away at me, uncovering all of my academic/intellectual/cognitive deficiencies. I can't ignore it nor stop obsessing about it.

Anyway, I'd like some time alone with you before you go and wrap yourself with someone else. I've missed you; the delightful memories of the beach this summer are not enough.

Hey! Mind if I just make this a journal entry?