The director of the program I work for has offered me his house while he and his family are out of town the next two days. I'm housesitter, of course -- a nice little supplementary job title. He pays a bottle of wine per night or $10, whichever is preferred. This is in addition to having the whole house to myself, use of the sauna, and welcome to any food left behind. All I have to do is mind the cat, which sometimes requires feeding and a good toss out the second floor bathroom window. "But don't toss the cat into the big hole," he said. "Toss her out over here."

I'll be alone and hopefully this will facilitate some lengthy study. There will have to be some time taken to settle in though, to get the feel of the house and of the people who live there. I will be absent from the computer for awhile, which is probably the best thing given the impending exam. Part of me just wants to say fuck it and not worry and not study too much and just deal when the bell rings -- when Neter Kutner Nachtsheim and Wasserman are spread alongside my piles of notes, both littered with labeled stickies for quick flipping. The other part of me is worrying and dreading and procrastinating because studying hard would confront the enormity of what I do not know. And I do not want to know that.

Joan has someone staying overnight who will use my spaces while I'm away, so this morning I cleaned my bathroom and bedroom for more hours than I should have. Afterward I went to the gym for an amazing, long and vigorous workout. It felt so good working the muscles and heart; reached that point where I felt I could keep going without end, without ever tiring. The entire time I imagined myself on a bike opposing the cool breeze rubbing off of the velvet blue water.