Funny how secrets travel…

Lost Highway soundtrack. I liked that movie. I like all David Lynch movies. How they’re incomprehensible and disturbing. Eraserhead was maybe a little too disturbing, but I still liked the use of sound… I heard that Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me got bad reviews and I just didn’t get it. How can anyone not like something so dark and intricately weird?

At this moment I’m feeling just fed up with everything. Angry. Here, there. Every place is a hassle. Logistics for the trip home are getting out of hand. I’m trying to mold it into exactly what I want, but that depends on so many things going just right. It’s impossible, I’m starting to realize it, and it’s pissing me off. Haircuts. Dr’s appointments. People to see. Too many international direct calls. You know that today I called a doctor’s office at 4pm their time and got the stupid voice mail? Tell us who you want an appointment with and we’ll get back to you. Fucking yeah, like they’re going to call me in Korea. I have to get up at the crack of dawn to reach these people.

In the meantime, I’m over here rushing to complete multitudes of tasks and procrastinating on all of it. Hurry up and postpone. Stopped by the fabric market today on the way to Ewha. That sounds like it was on the way doesn’t it? Well, it’s not; in fact the two are on opposing sides of town. (Town - listen to me. Try megatropolis.) I took the train to Tongdaemun fabric market, climbed up the stairs into the pouring rain and into a building filled with smoke. I’m getting tired of the fabric market: sick of the smoke, sick of the crowds and the vendors, and I’m finally seeing the light on the fact that I just don’t like sewing all that much. But I love fabric. ugh. One can’t just collect fabric and not do anything with it. At any rate, I decided today, walking through a dimly lit alleyway, the air thick with smoke, that I really don’t plan on coming back to the fabric market too many more times before I move away from the appendix of Asia. Forget it. I’m done.

So, I don’t know. I just don’t want to deal with appointments, people vying for my time, or having to ask those same people to accommodate me even if I don’t want to spend quality time sitting flat on my ass at their house. That’s one thing about returning home that’s just too difficult to deal with. I remember remembering this the last time I was preparing for home leave: People want to just sit around and chat while I want to get out seeing and doing everything. They haven’t gone without. People, people, people.

Good grief, I just need to eat something. I guarantee I’ll be in a much better mood then.