Stopped for speeding tonight by an officer who was polite, if not cheerful. He caught me at a stoplight, flicked his lights on there just as the signal turned green. Panic ensued of course, the shudders and sudden memory loss. How do I drive this thing? Pulled over, ended up blocking a one-way side street. Paused for a few seconds while I tried to figure out how to remedy that situation: Pull forward about 20 feet. He was at the door before I had my license ready. I had the window down in anticipation, so he spoke to me while I looked for my wallet. He said hello and then: The reason I stopped you tonight is because you were going 44 down Dexter there (a 30 m.p.h. street). Any special reason you were traveling so fast?

I was looking at him then, doe-eyed to be sure. An answer: Uhh… No…
Just trying to get home? He asked.
Yes.

He asked for my license, which was handy by then. I gave him the one that's valid and not the extra one I give to everyone else. I said this is my grandma's car and it'll take a moment for me to find the insurance. But it didn't because g-ma's really on the ball with that stuff: She's got the current slip stowed in a little holder clipped to the driver's sun visor. When he went away to check that I wasn't wanted by the law, I was left alone in the beams of flashing blue and red. I started to think about how much more of my money was going to go to the Municipal Court of Seattle. Recently I've been thinking I should just pay the $23 for a yearly Zone 7 parking permit. Can you get permits for more than one zone? I could use about three. It's been years since I was ticketed for speeding though. Oh, not cheap. What will it be? $100? $150?

He came back, leaned over to my height and said, How about a warning for tonight? (Oh thank god!) He said, It's not such a big deal; the traffic is really light even, but it's just that it's slippery and cars tend to pull out from these little side streets. He told me to have a good night. I replied with about three Thanks.

I drove home in some kind of hellish slo-mo at 30 m.p.h. It does make a difference.

I've never before gotten away without a ticket after being pulled over. I'm not a cryer, but instead become innocently sweet and smiley. It's not intentional; it is my unconscious reaction to authority. It's very convincing and has gotten me out of more than I'll ever tell, believe me. But it never gets me out of traffic violations. One officer even asked me once why I was so happy. They want to wreck my day is what I think. The smile doesn't indicate proper fear of the law, therefore they feel compelled to instill it. That's my theory.

Was it my sweet smiling face? Maybe it was g-ma's spotless insurance record. Or, maybe the guy got some other hot call and decided to drop the boring old traffic beat. Come to think of it, I've never been stopped for speeding in Seattle proper before. Perhaps they're more interested in stopping speeders in hopes of scoring big on some other violation? Well, whatever the reason, I was set free without fine. That's all that matters.