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I feel like I’m racing against the clock. X-Files is on in a half an hour and I want to have this finished and uploaded before then. Oh, and I want time left over to brew some hot chocolate first. I chatted a lot today. It was awesome except for the accumulated time on-line, which I know is adding up to some astronomical local phone charge for this month. I’m trying not to think about it. I flaked on my walk, which wasn’t a good thing. I decided to make a black market trip too late in the afternoon and by the time I got back it was time for the walk but I was starvin’ marvin and decided to just make some dinner instead. So, no walk. Dave is having dinner with his co-worker’s tonight, so I made just a salad and then ate some bread with it. Just enough for me.
Are you a daydreamer? I’m a daydreamer. I think I mentioned before something about how my mind is always churning - sorry, don’t want to hunt down the link. Ok, so I lied. When I’m not thinking about the real or the theoretical, I’m thinking about the possible, the impossible, and the desirable. Mostly the desirable. Used to think it was abnormal, but someone in the know did a good deed and set me straight.
I want to write more about this. You know - ask questions like how does daydreaming act as a coping mechanism? As denial? How are those who daydream a lot different from those who don’t? But mostly I’m just thinking I’m someone who’s always had her head in the clouds. Only child. I had to make up my scenarios. I remember my best friend when I was five. Until I knew her I played alone and relied upon elaborate fantasies developed in my mind. When she came into the picture, I found it was no longer so fun to play because she had a different idea of what should happen. One time I got so frustrated I slapped her.
I still remember the feeling of her fleshy child’s face against my stubby little hand.
She left crying of course. Eventually we made up, but I always preferred playing in my fantasy world alone rather than having someone else come in and muck it up. Sometimes still, fantasy is better than reality.
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