We lose an hour, and so early in the year.

The latest desperate measure is—and it sounds woo-woo even to say it, especially when I say it—is a short daily practice of yoga, meditation, and writing. Just a short practice, less than an hour in all. But I've been doing it every day and not missing a day for four weeks now, and it has made the total difference. I know it sounds hokey to say it, like it couldn't even be true. But it's like I'm in a totally different body now, a limber, untroubled body. Breath strangely unfettered, neck and shoulders (mostly) not sore.

I'd been feeling too young to be this creaky, and too despondent from the stress of too much and too instense work. I had asked my physical therapist if the muscles in my neck would ever relax, if my neck would ever "go back," whatever that means. (Like, if you make a bad face it'll stick.) She said that it would, but I'd have to stop doing what I'm doing. And said that if I'm going to make my body endure the stress and the long hours of work, which clearly aren't an easy experience for me, then I would have to figure out how to nurture my body so that it could continue to do what I ask it to do.

No new year's party this year. No energy.