This eve marks the end of the holiday vacation, and it is a more anticipation-swelled eve than that misguided and disappointing one two days ago. Back to work tomorrow, and if all goes well, when I come home I will have the triumph of having given notice at my job.

On the Web, a flurry of posts recap the year. A pattern of productivity and better-than-2004 proclamations stand out. It reminds me of the horoscope for the Rooster year we read at my Chinese New Year party in February. For almost all of us, the year signalled reward for hard work. Perhaps I'm looking for news to match the prediction, or maybe I'm only remembering accounts that confirm it. Either way, when I look back on my year, it has been productive but not positive. Amid the awfulness there was substantial reward for good work in one arena—so it's not all bad. But I'd say this has been one of the most difficult years in recent memory. In some senses, it was more difficult than heartbreak years, but even there my memory may be playing with me. One thing I know for certain is that the stress of heartbreak, for some reason, doesn't make your body brittle and crack like work stress does. Give me a thousand tortured affairs and saccadic loss over that.

I'm sort of banking on 2006 being a more balanced year. Or, I should say, that goal is my resolve.