6.12.2002 | Desultation A reminder about relying on intuition, which is strong and often right: Empirical information is always more robust. It feels bad when my intuitive sense of a situation was dead wrong and, as a result, I have misled or neglected something for days or months and exacerbated problems that involve other people. Tim called last night and this is the first contact we’ve had since he left. We talked for more than an hour about the neighborhood and the building. He asked me how the management gig is going and at my hesitation he said, "It is what it is, isn’t it?" When I told him light bulbs go out every day: "It’s like the building is talking to you, huh?" That guy is so funny. We talked about the tenants’ quirky personalities and the weird stuff they get themselves into. I learned how much they take advantage of the new manager. Without fail, they say it was like that when they moved in. But now I know better. I forgot to tell him about how all my Sims are the tenants in this building. Last night I had a dream that involved (among other things, such as appearances by many old women) being trapped on a glacier that folded upon itself like a stormy sea, and I couldn’t gain footing or escape but could only ride it out, which I did. I’m worried about losing the bread-and-butter job I’ve had since 1998. I think that’s what inspired the dream. And it’s curious to me that the connection is so obvious, because my dreams don’t usually follow so closely on the heels of the precipitating emotion. This is the second time in two weeks this has happened though. A worry a week ago prompted a nightmare. It wasn’t the worry itself, but a contingent worry (a worry about the worry) piggybacked onto the first one. Recently I saw a digital photo printer and suddenly I want a digital camera. Everyday I think about it. I keep seeing my yoga instructor around town. She’s everywhere: my neighborhood, the Globe Café, Cedars, Vivace, Pioneer Square. I think it’s a sign that I should go back to class. |