Friday afternoon my company laid off 40 percent of its employees. I was on the list but spared when one of my compatriots resigned upon hearing she was one chosen to stay. The way she tells it, the president didn't skip a beat and said he'd keep me instead. Not being laid off isn't necessarily the preferable choice, but I'd honestly rather have the money coming in while I'm earnestly looking for work. Except it's damn hard to look for work with two jobs, yoga, gym, tea class, and skiing in the weekly queue. The warning signs have been there. We had lay offs in November which were perhaps the most ominous indication. Subtler signs came in the forms of managerial silence, smart veterans jumping ship, writers not getting paid, real estate agents dropping by the office, and rumors from beyond the company. Only we thought the whole company would go down, not just half of us. I'm not surprised they were going to let me go. Although I'm among the most productive in my department, I've spoken frankly about poor management practices and as a result suffer my manager's vindictiveness. All of us in the department have born her retaliation, but I know I am considered insubordinate—she's said so explicitly. Recently she's taken to admonishing me via e-mail and copying the president of the company. She's been building a case. In December in a two-on-one meeting with my manager and the president, my manager told me my work was unacceptable. When I confronted her about the praise I receive by e-mail and in person, and the lack of any feedback to corroborate the present statement, she could only return wild accusations. The president somewhat taken aback, despite being in her corner, supported my inquiry. I knew at that meeting she'd thereafter retaliate, trying to make good on her claim. But the damn fact is I produce a lot of content for the company and simply can't be fired. I knew Friday when the lay offs came she'd hand picked me, happy for an easy way to fling me off payroll. But like I said, we've all been suffering under poor management and not one of us isn't looking for work elsewhere. At a recent job fair an agent of a contract company was very interested to know why so many people from my company—from my department—were handing out resumes. Now my friends are free. Smart, smart people. They'll find work where their minds are valued and not a threat to an insecure ego. I'll follow soon enough, but in the meantime I'm not looking forward to the lonely workplace without them.