4.15.00

...I've been enjoying the day. The weather, of course, is one thing; the best thing though has been that J is gone for the weekend and I just love waking up to her absence and only my own noise. I've been around here doing things: organizing, reading, answering e-mail, laundry, etc. I went out for awhile to Teahouse Kuan Yin to do work I knew would be avoided at home. I went to test drive a car but was ignored -- imagine! -- by a busy staff of slick-haired young white boys. Another day for that, I suppose. Now I've been home for awhile sitting before this computer still working on the e-mail. It's dark enough to close the blinds, but I did keep them open as long as possible. And now the place feels lonely. I've got music playing loudly -- The Pretenders -- which I would think would give the illusion of company, but I actually think it's making me feel more lonely. (Maybe I should change it.) Dinner feels warm. I think I will cook for awhile in the soft yellow light of the fixtures that hang beneath the cupboards. I may watch TV for awhile to deaden the consciousness. And I'll stay up latelatelate, because I always find comfort in the epigee of night, to complete the work I didn't finish at the tea house.

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